Hey, this is Roll/Lucca's player. I don't know if you remember me or not. I was an active player around 2011, but, over two years ago, I left the board after a lot of personal drama that CRRP did not need.
For those who remember, I'm here to apologize for my behavior, and to explain what happened. The truth is, I was suffering from clinical depression at the time. These bouts of depressions was what caused me to lash out and threaten to rage-quit. It induced episodes of extreme self-loathing. It also affected my ability to function in other areas of my life, but the game was where I erupted. However, at the time, I never made that connection, and just chalked it up to stress – which continued the cycle.
But, when I left, I had time to reflect. I made the decision to fight this illness. I spoke with a professional for medication and counseling, and at this point, I would say things greatly improved.
However, I never took the time to explain myself. I spoke with a few people after I left, but I never really spoke to the group. I was more focused on my personal healing. I thought it was a better idea to put distance between myself and the board. As I tried to put my life back together, too much time had passed. Months became one year, then two years... and well, you get the idea. It felt easier to just move on.
I know that I've hurt a lot of people with my anger issues. I abandoned everyone that I ever collaborated with, and treated it like it no big deal. What I did was selfish and cruel, and nobody in the group deserved that treatment. I also should had wrote this apology letter sooner.
The truth is, you guys were awesome. Celestial Refresh was a wonderful experience. Cracky... Paused... Vent... Flo... DSG.... Sigman.... Aqua.... Leo.... and everyone else who I've met in the game – you all rocked. I'm truly sorry for all the bad things that I've done. I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused.
That's all I wanted to say. I just wanted to leave off on a better note than the drama storm I've left two years ago. Celestial Refresh deserves no less.
Best of luck to everyone.